I smell stomach acid.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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