sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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