I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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