Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
