apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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