so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
