I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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