Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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