got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
