it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It was a blind-side dick pic.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize