hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
