i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
