I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
