really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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