I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
