I look better un-naked...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
