I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
