i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
