did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
