Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
