What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
