I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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