Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
