Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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