Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize