she looked like the before picture.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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