i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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