I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
