I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
