Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
