Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
