Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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