i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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