My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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