cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
