Can i not drive my cunt home
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
