You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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