Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
