Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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