Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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