Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
