plz talk dirty to me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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