I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize