i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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