fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
