dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
please come you make the beer taste better
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
