You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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