You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
