Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
