I wish i was in the wii world.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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