I want to walk on stilts...naked
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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