that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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