called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
