My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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