i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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