just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
